Money quote from my book:

from Herbert Kohl, whom I want to grow up and BE.  Well, I actually what to grown up and be Studs Terkel, but becoming Herbert Kohl can occupy my middle age before I end up in broadcasting at the age of 75 or something.  

I quote, italics mine:

"Not-learning tends to take place when someone has to deal with unavoidable challenges to her or his personal and family loyalties, integrity, and identity.  In such situations, there are forced choices and no apparent middle ground.  To agree to learn from a stranger who does not respect your integrity causes a major loss of self.  The only alternative is to not-learn and reject their world."

H. Kohl. "I won't learn from you: Confronting student resistance," pp. 134-35 in Rethinking our classrooms: Teaching for equity and justice (Milwaukee: Rethinking Our Schools, 1994), p. 134.

This gave me a strange feeling as I reflected today on working in an American School for students who are Mexican.  How am I, as the stranger who is doing his best to respect the integrity of my students, perhaps unintentionally causing a major loss of self.  But how much self are we always asking our students to chuck out the window at every opportunity?  Modern schooling encompasses with it the devaluation of self.  Now, of course, most classrooms create shallow "tributes" to self, or artifacts that only coincide with many student's interests.  At the end of the day, period, semester, school year, and school career, it always comes down to how well you squeeze yourself into the "Successful graduate" shaped hole, regardless of how broad or strange your peg may be.  Its easy for me to criticize, because I am a hypocrite who asks students to do stupid things all the time.  I'm a terrible example of my own ideals.  Sorry, sad but true.  

The more I experience education on this side of the teacher's desk (my 18 years on one side left me unimpressed to say the least) the more I think the variable problems with the training of teachers.  There is so much training, professional development, research, and everything out there, why are the "bad teacher" stories so ever-present?  

I am in dangerous territory, now, I know, but I blame a cancerous teacher "meme."  Its an idea, but with attitude--something that spreads itself like a virus.  Words are just "memes" you can pronounce, for example.  There are other "memes" you cannot pronounce (this comes to mind)

or:

Give this a look for more clarification on the "meme", its succinct lecture by a smart man who looks like Santa, regardless.  

Its the giving up on a kid doesn't matter "meme," its the "this is the real world, they have to deal with it" "meme," its the "meme" that first latches on to a teachers exhaustion and then amplifies a teachers natural muscle for justification.  Much like the tiny phorid fly in Texas, teachers become the headless zombies of the status quo.  Now I'm about to go enjoy a relaxing evening and I have no school tomorrow due to the Mexican holiday, Teacher's Day.  Honoring the profession with, of all things, something that most veteran and expert teachers loathe, a full day off of school.  It means we're one more day behind, after falling two weeks behind due to flu outbreak...I am thankful, though, for the appreciative gesture and for my sweet laser pointer pen that I received from a student today.  Hopefully we'll have a smooth ride to the end of the year.  

Its a pig bad world out there...

The flu is winding down here.  I am left cleaning up the emotional, institutional, and bureaucratic refuse left behind by the Secretary of Public Education here in Mexico.  

Interesting ramifications include but are not limited too: new restrictions on all sorts of behaviors at school, the implication by some administration officials that the Flu has had traumatic effects equitable to 9/11 in the U.S.A., a total reboot of educational momentum with more material to cover with less time, i.e., etc., more to follow.

The break provided for ample time for me to reflect and plan for the rest of the semester.  Right...like that happened.  I shut down just like how most of the students did.  Human beings who spend their formative years in prison-like institutional settings like modern education programs are quick to revert to a sloth-like hunter/gatherer eco-niche.  We have to force ourselves into productivity for enough time during these important formative years, just long enough so that our brains become addicted to self-inflicted stress.  Or, the brains of those among us who are productive, were taught to sculpt their pleasure receptors into needing "productivity" to achieve a sense of well-being.  Why are so many of us so prone to diddling away hours of our time?  Those of us who had long summer vacations every year of school surely became masters of forgetting everything we had learned.  I would love to look into the behaviors of kids during their leisure time (either unstructured or self-directed, structured) as predictors of future professions, habits, skills, beliefs, etc. 

The only thing I did year round was read, and that is the backbone of my intellect now.  I can't do math, learn a language, draw, or score a goal, but I can totally read.  

At some point, our ancient ancestors (who had drastically more leisure time as hunter gatherers versus as members of a society with specialized jobs) came to value productivity.  Nowadays we volley imaginary necessities around our worlds that are intersected with pressures that we identify as either outside or inside ourselves.  These pressures are either healthy or unhealthy, either profitable or not profitable, "self-actualizing" or "destructive" the bifurcations mean less and less the more we attempt to classify them.  Can one really do something in the pursuit of one's own fulfillment?  I wonder if it is a process by which we are continually convincing ourselves of the "self-fulfilling" properties of the things we do without understanding why.  If you don't know why you like feeling that feeling, it automatically falls under the category of "self-fulfillment."  If you DO know why you like feeling that feeling, it will most certainly still fall into "self-fulfillment" but how often do we ask how that particular behavior began to feel good?  Was it through practice?  Was it an epiphany on a rainy afternoon?  Was it EVER a good teacher?  I hope once in a while.

This is what I think about when trying to manufacture feelings of "self-fulfillment" in young learners who have no stamina for independent work.  I am forcing something down their mind-gullets which has no connection to those unstructured/free activities that they would choose to do themselves.  My answers are coming more and more in the form of props and costumes, though.  That is definitely worrisome for my future principles, and those budget requests for medieval costume rental...